No baking Only Healing

I'm still not back to baking but these crisper mornings are starting to get the pumpkin thoughts going in my mind.  I haven't had a lot of energy lately.  I have to nap a lot.  Like every day.  Sometimes twice.  So I broke down and got a new primary doctor near by to pull every thing together.  In going over things, I have quite the lump on the thyroid.  My thyroid has probably not been pulling its weight for a while which explains tired pretty well and the 10 pounds I gained while not cooking sweet things in my kitchen.

My thyroid has to be ultrasounded and then biopsied.  I am currently awaiting a cervical biopsy as well.  I'm kind of freaking out.  I think I can manage it all, but then it feels huge.  Just when I feel like I have a handle on the loss and pain of my leg, there is more.  I have had many cervical biopsies, all negative, so that feels less major.  Thyroid feels like something I'm going to have to deal with.  On the bright side, maybe it is a contributing factor to swallowing problems and those will be easier after it is removed or whatever.

I joined a pool.  The surgeon and the pain doctor urged me to get swimming. I went on Friday for the first time and wow!  My whole body was sore from head to toe.  Nate pointed out that I haven't had a good whole body workout in years.  I really loved it.  The pool at Healthtrax is super warm and inviting.  And there is a hot whirlpool in the ladies locker room - fantastic.  No dudes in the whirlpool.  The pool was essentially empty and I swam laps alone.  I bought new nice goggles because I was worried about swimming crooked (My name is Jess and I swim crooked) but there was no one there to bump into.  I am planning on going Monday night for Zumba in the pool.  I loved Zumba - I'm ridiculously excited to do it in the pool.

I have worked hard to reel in all extraneous spending to afford the pool and some other changes and I think it will all be good for me.  The gym puts your membership on pause if you have surgery or anything that stops you from coming.  Sigh of relief.  And they bought out my other gym membership, gave me a discount for my insurance, and my insurance gives me money back at the end of the year for going.  Win-wins all around this gym process.  God/Universe/Everything made it very simple for me to join and enjoy.  I'm thinking swimming will give me back my strength that I have lost over the past 6 years.

I started a teaching blog too because writing is the main thing I seem to be wanting to do with my time and energy at home.  It's great having two different worlds to express myself in.  I was asked to guest blog on an education blog so I am psyched to do that.

I'm writing completely stream of consciousness because I need you, invisible audience, to witness my slow and steady freak out about my thyroid.  Can't I just swim off a thyroid nodule?  You never know. Maybe I need to eat kelp and have seaweed shakes for lunch.  You know seaweed is not a plant, right? I didn't know until I was a teacher.  They are protists.  Little green animals.  So can you eat seaweed if you're a vegetarian.  Fine lines, folks.

Namaste and blessings to you and me and all of us.  And you know, if you are physically able to move and exercise, please do so.  Enjoy the luxury of that ability each and every day.  It's precious.

I promise high protein little "cakes" are coming for breakfast soon.  A couple cool afternoons and a little more energy and I'm all about getting back to baking.  I promise.  Not really. I promise nothing.  I can only promise that I am in this moment thinking fondly of anyone taking the time to read this stream of my thoughts tonight.  Love.

(The picture is me and my friend Emma who is adorable and snuggly and has the cutest feet.  I got to babysit for her and her big sister recently and I hope they ask me again and again!)